Director : Eli Roth
Writer : Eli Roth, Nicolás López
Stars : Keanu Reeves, Lorenza Izzo, Ana de Armas
Release year : 2015 (imdb)
Evan Webber is a happily married architect, living in an uptown house with his beautiful wife and his two adorable kids who just left for Father’s Day weekend. When two gorgeous girls knock on his door, all lost and rainsoaked, he couldn’t help but let them inside. Little did he know that they are not as innocent as they seem to be.
There is only three roads this movie could take. Either an erotic thriller where the main character sleeps with the strangers, gets harassed and extorted afterward; or a tight home invasion little movie that will keep viewers on edge fearing for the good hero’s fate; or a straight up torture-porn movie that will be half sex half nasty-over-the-top gore. Alas! It is none of the above.
Eli Roth, the over-hyped director that gave us the much entertaining Hostel, tackles the very eccentric genre of camp cinema. He spectacularly fails. Right after the main character engages in a threesome (which, by the way, is very badly shot), the viewer will lose interest in the adulterer’s destiny, and will not care at all about the horrors that will happen to his sorry ass.
Except for putting the last nail on Keanu’s career’s coffin, this movie seems to serve no other purpose. It is confused, unfocused, poorly directed, badly written and confusing (not in a good challenging way, but in a bad mind-numbing way). It is boring, repetitive and leaves a lot to be desired. The gore is anemic and the only sex-scene is rubbish. It is weak, feeble, mediocre and a complete lackluster. I can go on, but you get the idea.
In the end, let us all take a moment to remember the brief but illustrious Hollywood career of Keanu Reeves. Neo, you will be missed.